Something to know about me before we begin: I’m one of those people who still thinks Mother’s Day is about telling the moms - and the people in your life who mother you (biological or not) - that you love and appreciate them for who they are and all they. I don’t think it has to be commercial, expensive, or cookie cutter. 

You don’t have to believe in the goodness of Mother’s Day to know a mama that wants to be celebrated so just in case you are stumped this year I've compiled 12 ideas - new and old - to celebrate the mother present in your life and honor mothers, who by death or circumstance, are no longer part of your life.

Keep in mind, this can be a great time to know your own love language if you are a mother or to know the love language of the mother you are celebrating. If you make an elaborate breakfast every year (love language: act of service) or buy a fancy gift (love language: gifts) when all mama wants to hear is “you are doing an amazing job” (love language: words of affirmation) all your efforts might miss the mark and mama doesn’t come away feeling nourished, honored, and filled up on love. If you're not sure which are your top ways to connect, there is a Love Languages Quiz to help you sort through. And remember to include the pregnant mamas on Mother's Day!

On to the ideas!

1. Make time for mama to do something that she loves all by herself or with her friends - hiking, massage, a meal, an art museum, gardening, reading, a coffee shop. (I’m pretty sure I just shared my dream day there.) Parents can be so busy getting things done! Gift her time that has no purpose.

2. Make time to do something as a family that she loves - and if there are young children involved do your best to be the “parent in charge” so that she can enjoy the activity rather than manage the activity.

3. Massage. Give a gift certificate or set up a space at home. You can keep it as simple as a 5 minute foot massage - just follow along with my foot massage instructional video for ideas. If mama is pregnant you can learn everything you need to know for safety, skills, and simple techniques in our Prenatal Bliss: Partner Massage for Pregnancy workshop.  

4. Buy or make a flower bouquet using flowers, paper, or other crafty ideas.

5. Variation on buying flowers: buy living plants whether flowers, trees, or veggies.

6. Sleep. Take over in the morning so mama can sleep in. If you have a breastfeeding child - take over after the feed so mama can go back to sleep. Or maybe she wants a long afternoon nap after that brunch you spilled in bed ;) 

7. Get everyone in your family to put their phones down for a meal, a few hours, or a day. 

8. Write mama a letter of gratitude for all the things you appreciate about her. Make it age appropriate. Big kids can write their own letter. Younger children can dictate theirs to an adult. It can be especially hilarious and adorable with younger kids if you ask them about what they love that mama does for them, what they love about mama, and what they think their mama enjoys. This letter can be a sweet way to connect if your mother has passed away and it can be a cathartic way to express yourself if through circumstance your mother is not a part of your life and perhaps is not someone to celebrate.

9. Get mama a gift that she has been wanting. Homemade, expensive, totally free. As long as it’s something she actually wants - or something she will love because you made it (I’m looking at you pencil-cup-I-made-from-a-soup-can-but-still-sits-on-my-moms-desk.)

10. Kid-made coupon books. This one never goes out of style! “One free dishwasher unloading” “one free foot rub” “one free room cleaning with no arguing”

11. Do something for her that mama usually does for you. Get ideas by thinking about the daily or weekly rhythm of your house: making breakfast, cleaning up, planning date night, picking the restaurant, remembering to call the grandparents. Whatever it is that she does - you take a turn!

12. If you are an adult or your kids are older or even if your mom has passed away, bring in some nostalgia and do something that mama loved to do when the kids were little. Check out the zoo. Curl up to read kid books or watch a cartoon. Make pancakes like when you were little. If your mom has passed away, think about asking a friend to join. It can be sweet to make old traditions new again.

I hope these ideas can help convince you this isn’t a holiday made up by greeting card companies or restaurants - fun fact: it was started by a fellow West Virginian! 

I’d love to hear your ideas of how you spend the day. Send along suggestions or photos of how you celebrated or honored your mom.  

*a note gender in this article* - Because many people who identify as “mom” “mother” or “mama” also use the pronouns “she/her/hers” I used these pronouns in this blog. Mothers with any pronouns can be honored on this day and mothering as a verb is never limited by gender.