Let’s be radical in 2025. I want you to be totally successful with your new years resolution by NOT making a resolution. As some of you who have been with me for awhile know, I am someone who is very curious about what motivates us as humans and how we can tap into that to take better care of ourselves, be that meeting work or home goals, slowing down into the early postpartum days, or living a fulfilling retirement. 

The key is to choose a feeling state you want to move towards, and then make decisions that lead you in that direction.

Let me share a few examples to illustrate this:

Starting with the above “Happy” example. Maybe you do want to feel more happiness in your year. We wouldn’t say, “I only do things this year that make me feel happy” - I mean the garbage has to go out and it doesn’t make me feel happy to empty the diaper pail…. 100% full time happiness is not the goal for being human. 

Instead you would say I’m leaning into noticing and doing more activities where I feel happiness. Notice how happiness feels in your body so that you can recognize it when it happens! Then set an action goal from there, “I’m going to try to do one activity a week with my kids that really makes me smile.” or “I’m going to find one project at work each quarter that really fascinates me”. 

Start small!

Moving towards some feelings are bigger financial or time commitments than others. If you want to feel more connected to friends far away there is little cost to calling a friend once a month or sending a card in the mail. But if you want to feel more comfortable in your own skin as you age that may mean therapy for your mind, a new wardrobe of clothing that makes you feel great in your current shape, or getting a fitness coach who can keep safe as you learn to use weights and get stronger

Perhaps you want to feel more space for fun in the summer months. It’s kid summer camp sign up time so you will quickly investigate what feels “fun” to you. Is it having your kids home more or is it coordinating more summer camps and activities for them so that you have alone spacious time?

And at 8pm when I’m trying to motivate myself to NOT just sit down and scroll, I would visualize that beautiful warm lighting and the feeling of being cozy - and then step away from the phone!

I know a lot of parents who want to feel more calm and collected for the day, so they start waking up before their kids, even by 10-15 minutes so that they feel they have a moment to themselves before diving into family chaos. 

Tell me if this is starting to make sense or let me know that I’m missing the mark! 

This year I’m cultivating the feeling of pushing to the uncomfortable edge. I’m learning a new sport this winter. Today, I’m leaving my family for a longer stretch of time than I often like to go on retreat -which I know really refuels me! I’m also contemplating a one month sabbatical over the summer (which is an edge for me because I love my work and don’t always like to stop for a month!). 

If you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear what feeling you might be cultivating this year and ideas you have to create that experience! Send me an email and I’ll read every word. 

Want more inspiration for this idea? Check out Year of Yes by Shonda Rhymes. I read it nearly a decade ago and it is absolutely the inspiration for this way of creating change in myself and my year! Plus, it’s supposed to be great an an audiobook.